by Will Clarke
p. 2006
After reading some heavier fare lately, I selected the most
lighthearted quick read I could find as a sort of palate cleanser and the first
thing that caught my eye was a bargain bin impulse buy called The Worthy, by Will Clarke. It’s the story
of a murdered rich boy who haunts the halls of his Louisiana fraternity trying
to exact his revenge on the frat brother who murdered him. It’s got a goat on
the cover and everything to let you know how wacky this book is!
...Well, you can go to hell, Will Clarke.
The Worthy is a
lot more twisted than the descriptions would have you believe, and yet somehow
the whole thing manages to fall flat thanks to staggering clichés
and a total lack of heart.
Conrad Sutton III’s ghost is all that’s left of the
19-year-old former frat pledge, murdered in his freshman year by the psychotic
chapter leader, Ryan. Unsure of what to do with his afterlife and unable to
move on, his seemingly laid back but deeply angry spirit follows the lives of
various chapter members and their peers, hoping to ultimately enact revenge on
Ryan. Miss Etta, the house cook, is the only one that can see him at first and advises
Conrad to look after an eager new pledge, Tucker Graham, but Conrad is really
only interested in using Tucker to get what he wants, and when he finds out he
can possess the bodies of the intoxicated, he aims to do just that. The perfect
posthumous murder takes some time though, so on the way, Conrad tangles with
and impulsively tails Ryan’s battered girlfriend Maggie, his own ex, Ashley,
Ashley’s born-again roommate Sarah Jane, and Alex, a naïve frat brother who, upon
missing the biggest joke of them all, submits to a hazing ritual that leads to
him having... relations with a goat.
With a plot like that, you’d think things would get pretty
exciting, but I could never quite get into this book. Maybe it was my indifference
towards fraternity lifestyle, my utter lack of experience with southern
culture, my dislike for Conrad and his friends, the cop-out ending, or the clichéd hot
mess of stereotypes plaguing every—every—character
in this short book. Yes, come to think of it, it was probably that last one
most of all. And my, what a selection of stereotypes this one offered—you’ve
got your vengeful ghost, your southern, cranky, no-nonsense black woman with
ties to the spirit world who acts as a vessel, your mousy, abused girlfriend
who never learns how to stand up for herself, your good ol’ farm boy, your
coked out, psychotic villain whom no one suspects of foul play, your crazy
religious nutjob, your dorky kid who pathetically tries to belong... and
mountains upon mountains of ‘it’s cool, brah!’ frat boys. Yikes.
It can be argued that Clarke was trying to construct an argument against collegiate hazing... but he doesn't follow through. It can be argued that Clarke was being tongue in cheek about
the frat boy overload... but as a former frat boy himself, I don’t think he
was. It can be argued that he was going for irreverence and dark humor... but
after the goat thing and an additional murder, it was really just awkward and
unpleasant. Clarke makes a lot of references to characters being high on their
own self-interest, laughing at their own jokes, but he proceeds to make a lot
of ‘jokes’ that aren’t remotely funny then indulge himself in a little
revelation at his humorous quip. Not a single thing made me react positively in
this book. The only physical reactions The
Worthy induced was slight disgust. This book is a very quick read, but not
because I couldn’t put it down, rather because it was completely devoid of
substance. In fact, I feel dumber for having read the whole thing. The only
thing this book is worthy of is the bargain bin I should have left it in.
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